(Source: iamatinyowl)

Anonymous Asked
Questionplease describe what it is like to live in the us?? Answer

iguanamouth:

every morning my alarm gun wakes me up by firing directly over my head and if i dont immediately get up and sing the star spangled banner i get arrested. all matters in court are settled with opponents dressing up in bald eagle costumes and fighting to the death. theres an american flag tattooed across my face. once i saw someone get punched in the head repeatedly at a barbeque because they said they didnt like apple pie and nobody helped them. nobody even tried

sehnsuchttraum:

shrrrr1mp:

foreignslutt:

dietcrush:

did you know soap doesn’t really clean your hands it just makes the water molecules smaller so the water can go into smaller crevices in your skin isn’t that the weirdest shit you’ve read today

how the fuck would you…

fangirlabouteverythingever:

itseasytoremember:

tronjavolta:

laughterkey:

adulthoodisokay:

fastcompany:

"It’s not dead. It’s resting."

Read More>

That is an ex-parrot.

He has ceased to be.

He has expired and gone to meet his maker

He’s probably pining for the fjords

No, no… he’s stunned

tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Telmo Pieper Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings
tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Telmo Pieper Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings
tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Telmo Pieper Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings
tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Telmo Pieper Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings
tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Telmo Pieper Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings
tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Telmo Pieper Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings

tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Telmo Pieper Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings

not-a-comedian:

a lot of blue-foot burb

Album Art

disregardedrambles:

slimmeroo:

holy shit

DDAAAAAMMMMNN

(Source: jaesama)

Played 709885 times.
gingerhaze:

Stuff I never posted: this Maleficent comic

gingerhaze:

Stuff I never posted: this Maleficent comic

theinnkeeperlibrarian:

leepacey:

a restaurant in my hometown got a review that said the servers should “show some skin” so the owner added a potato skin special to the menu and all the proceeds from the special go to the west virginia foundation for rape information services (x)

That’s exactly the appropriate response.